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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29112348">You Deserved Better, Dear</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdyBirdy6602/pseuds/NerdyBirdy6602'>NerdyBirdy6602</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dimension 20 (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Campaign 03 Season 01: The Unsleeping City, Campaign 03 Season 02: The Unsleeping City Chapter II, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: c03s02e06 The Unsleeping City: Collaborators, F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:07:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,614</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29112348</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdyBirdy6602/pseuds/NerdyBirdy6602</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>His mouth opened, and she could practically hear the words on his lips. He would say, <em>I should be happy for him. The Questing Blade made the choice it felt was right. There’s nothing to feel badly about. I don’t regret what I did. It’s what anyone would do.</em></p>
<p>But his lips fell in a grim line, and he didn’t say them.</p>
<p>Or: Ricky Matsui gets the comfort he deserves.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Pete Conlan | Pete the Plug &amp; Cody Walsh, Ricky Matsui &amp; The Questing Blade, Ricky Matsui/Esther Sinclair, Sofia Lee &amp; Esther Sinclair</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>67</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You Deserved Better, Dear</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>As always, special thanks to my very best friend <a href="%E2%80%9Carchiveofourown.org/users/m3rcut10%E2%80%9D">m3rcut10</a> for encouraging my obsession with Dimension 20 and D&amp;D in general.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Esther had flown as fast as she could to the Holland Tunnel, a mist of salt water spraying out behind her. She knew, of course, that they were all capable of handling the influx of demonic beings. They had fought off the corrupted American Dream, for Christ’s sake. Still, now that she was allowed to worry for Ricky, she did. She knew how capable and strong he was, but she loved him dearly. Esther finally had someone to worry about losing. Her stomach churned at the thought of Ricky hurt or worse, and yet she couldn’t help but be relieved to feel anything other than empty..</p>
<p>When she landed on the Jersey end of the Holland Tunnel, dripping wet and panting, she immediately clocked that Ricky was in one piece and relatively alright. However, even from a distance, she knew something was off. What exactly was wrong with him, she couldn’t quite tell except that it wasn’t magically or physically produced. Fine, she could absolutely deal with that, but later.</p>
<p>She checked on poor JJ, who looked shaken but uninjured. He immediately started babbling apologies at her, saying he hadn’t been quick enough with the wardings. If the crew hadn’t taken care of the Jersey Devil and his minions first, the warding would have failed. Esther assured him that he did the best he could under horrendous circumstances. In truth, she was proud of him. He was a fairly new wizard, and he had done as well as someone twice his power. Before double checking the wardings herself, she walked over to the rest of the crew.</p>
<p>Madame Anastasia was the first to welcome her, offering thick, warm socks for her soaked feet. Esther thanked her profusely for it, a small smile on her face. Moments later, she felt the warm embrace of Ricky Matsui’s magic, and the smile grew to a grin. Now completely dry, she slipped on the comforting socks and faced her lovely boyfriend.</p>
<p>He was definitely not himself. Her eyes fell on a pulsating vein that had bulged against his normally veinless forehead. Maybe he had just overexerted himself? No, that wasn’t it. If Esther didn’t know any better, she’d say Ricky was outright pissed.</p>
<p>Ricky didn’t get pissed. Ricky got annoyed when people’s fire safety wasn’t up to snuff and they refused to change their ways. Ricky got frustrated when he met rude people on the subway. None of those were outright anger. None of those were the fury she felt like she was watching play out on her lover’s face.</p>
<p>“Hun, thank you so much,” she said instantly, coming closer to touch the offending vein with a feather-light touch. “Hey, everything good?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Ricky answered, his voice hoarse. Had he been yelling? “Y’know the… Uh, the Questing Blade came back.”</p>
<p>Her eyes widened, a hand coming to her mouth to cover her gasp of surprise and excitement. This was definitely the type of win Ricky needed. She knew, even if he never explicitly said it, that he missed the Questing Blade. From what she knew about their relationship they were, in a way, friends.</p>
<p>“Funny enough,” he continued, his voice breaking as he tried to school his face into a faked perky expression. “Our new friend Cody… Well, it went to him. He’s over there. The Blade looks different from when I had it, but I just thought you should know.”</p>
<p>Oh, fuck.</p>
<p>Her eyes were still wide, but for a much different reason. The smile on her face had dimmed. The defeat in Ricky’s voice made her heart ache. She looked over to where the new kid and Pete were damaging someone’s poor car and slicing magical fruits. The sorrow she felt for Ricky quickly turned to righteous anger on his behalf.</p>
<p>“Thank you, stop. Thank you, <em>stop</em>,” she shouted, feeling as though she was scolding children. Did they not see how utterly destroyed poor Ricky looked? “<em>Thank you, <strong>stop</strong></em>!”</p>
<p>The two looked at her, laughing and giggling as if none of this affected them. Pete was someone she could forgive. She knew his heart was in the right place, and he was a good guy. But this Cody guy? She hardly knew him, and in the moment he looked like the antithesis to everything that was right and good. Still scolding, she called, “Yeah, for sure, stop!”</p>
<p>As she called for the end of that particular bro session, she recognized two bats that had flown in. Ana and Amelia started to cast Mending on the property that had been damaged, including the cars that Cody had destroyed with the Questing Blade. The clean up crew gets to work, ensuring they left no trace of the battle that had happened just moments before. </p>
<p>“I gotcha hun,” she said gently, taking Ricky’s face in her hands. “I love you. And that? That’s bullshit. I don’t know why that’s going on, but I’m saying that as a wizard. Something fucked up happened, okay?”</p>
<p>“Okay, well,” he mumbled, his eyes not quite meeting her’s. He took a moment to think on his words before meeting her gaze once more. “I love you too, and… Uh, between you and me? I’m having a bit of a moment, I would say.”</p>
<p>“I hear you,” Esther replied earnestly. If anyone understood strong emotion, it was absolutely her, even if she had spent most of her life suppressing it. “It’s okay.”</p>
<p>“Honestly, I might run home?”</p>
<p>Esther took a moment to process that. She wanted to say, <em>Run home? Sweetheart, we’re in Jersey and that might take you well over an hour.</em> Esther didn’t say that. Instead, she wanted to support however he needed to deal with this. Who was she to tell her beloved how to deal with this? He was probably grieving in his own way.</p>
<p>“Well, there’s going to be a bit of a debriefing here, but if you wanna just run home, that’s totally fine,” she assured him, giving him a warm smile. “Actually, why don’t we hold a debriefing tomorrow morning? It’s late, people have been busy… If you want to take a run home, go ahead and take a run home, sweetie. Or you could run to the Gramercy Occult Society and I’ll meet you there?”</p>
<p>Ricky vigorously nodded his head. “I don’t want to miss anything, but I definitely want a run. I wanna hear about the water part too! I… Uh, yeah.”</p>
<p>Without another moment’s notice, Ricky and Ox were off, running through the Holland Tunnel and back to New York City. Esther sighed as she watched him go, hoping this would be good for him. Whatever was crawling under Ricky’s skin and yearning to get out, maybe the run would be the start of working it out. She made her way over to Sofia, who explained the situation in better detail. Suddenly, the pieces of the puzzle were forming into an ugly picture in her head.</p>
<p>“I could never imagine what would get under Ricky’s skin,” Esther muttered, hands shaking as she clasped them in front of her. “I thought it was impossible but now I know exactly what would completely shatter my darling love. I… Okay. This is…”</p>
<p>Then she focused her attention more on Sofia, realizing what having the Questing Blade back on Earth meant. She couldn’t imagine being a plane apart from her lover. It would kill her not to be able to literally move Heaven and Earth to see him. When she told Esther to focus more on Ricky, she knew her suspicions were right, but politely respected her boundaries.</p>
<p>She tried to focus her efforts on finishing the clean up, but her mind was wandering. Her thoughts were on Ricky, who she had set off into the world to deal with this on his own. What had she been thinking? A light hand rested on her shoulder, which made her flinch and spin around in a whir.</p>
<p>“Whoa, easy, Esther,” Ana yelped, throwing her hands up in mock surrender. “It’s just us.”</p>
<p>“You’ve been staring at the ground for three minutes,” Amelia interjected. “Go home, girl. We’ve got this handled.”</p>
<p>“You sure? I can help,” Esther insisted, rubbing her eyes.</p>
<p>“Ricky needs you more,” they answered in unison, giving each other a proud glance afterwards.</p>
<p>“Fine, fine,” she grumbled, running a hand through her curls. “Don’t fuck it up.”</p>
<p>“Yes, ma’am!”</p>
<p>Esther rolled her eyes, but set herself apart from the group. Quietly, she focused her attention on casting Locate Creature. She thought of how Ricky looked before he left, disheveled and hurt, and desperately hoped he was close enough. In moments, her eyes glowed a brilliant bluish-white hue as she felt the general direction of where Ricky ran to. Judging by the spell, he had stopped running. Still, she felt he was close and simply started running through the Holland Tunnel after him.</p>
<p><em>Fuck, how does Ricky do this every morning? It’s goddamn exhausting,</em> she thought to herself as her lungs started to burn. She didn’t stop though, and refused to let herself give in. She drew on her inherent magic, dug deep within herself, and kept sprinting. Some unconscious part of her realized that she looked crazy, running like her life depended on it alone in the dead of night in New York City. Esther didn’t care.</p>
<p>Ricky had run less than a quarter of a mile down the road, on the very edge of her spell’s reach, but she finally caught up to him. He was huffing and puffing on a park bench with Ox obediently at his side. Still, even though he was in sight, she didn’t stop until she was at his side.</p>
<p>“Esther? I thought you had to take care of things?”</p>
<p>“Some things… are… more important… Fucking hell,” she explained as she tried to catch her breath, a hand on her chest to feel her pounding heart. She sat beside him, leaning on Ricky’s shoulder. Teasingly, she added, “I think I need to start joining you on your morning runs.”</p>
<p>“If you’d like,” Ricky said, smiling at her. The smile looked fake; plastered on. Ricky had always been a bad liar. “We could definitely make that work. For now, here.”</p>
<p>Ricky pulled out a water bottle and cast Create Water in it. She laughed, silently thinking that was such a waste of a spell slot. Outwardly, she whispered, “Thanks, sweetheart.”</p>
<p>He simply nodded, absentmindedly petting Ox’s head. Esther could tell that he wasn’t entirely with her, which she could handle. Once they were home and they had both caught their breath, they could talk. She knew that wouldn’t fix everything, but it was a start. Softly, she asked, “Want me to call a cab, honey?”</p>
<p>Ricky patted his pockets, frowning as he stated, “I forgot to grab my wallet before I left. Sorry. I’ll pay you back.”</p>
<p>“No worries, honey,” She soothed, standing on aching legs as she waved for a cab. “Taxi!”</p>
<p>The first one she saw rolled up quickly. She looked back to Ricky, who seemed to be struggling to stand. After a full fight and an aggressive run, it wasn’t hard to believe that he was absolutely exhausted. As Ricky dismissed Ox for the time being, Esther held out a hand to help him up. He looked at her for a moment with an indiscernible expression, but he followed her and limped toward the back seat. Esther slid in beside him and asked, “Home?”</p>
<p>Ricky nodded absently, and Esther told the cabbie where to go. She pulled her darling love close, letting his head rest on her shoulder. She didn’t care about the odd look the driver gave them. Esther simply kissed his hair and rubbed his back. The physical touch seemed to relax him some, but the sullen look on his face didn’t leave. It was unsettling for her to see him so unhappy. Quietly, she asked, “Shower, dinner, and some hot cocoa? We could order in, or I can make something. It’s up to you, sweetie.”</p>
<p>He hummed, and replied, “I’ll think about it. I’m not feeling so great right now.”</p>
<p>“I know,” she whispered, lacing her free hand with one of his. “We’ll get through it, sweetheart. I’m here for you.”</p>
<p>“I love you,” Ricky murmured in response, pressing a tender kiss to her cheek. “Thank you.”</p>
<p>“I love you too,” Esther assured, making sure they made eye contact. “You deserve the world, my love.”</p>
<p>Ricky looked away at those words, and decided against making eye contact with her for the rest of the ride. She didn’t press, merely providing silent comfort with her warm touch. She learned quickly after the curse was broken and she was allowed to feel the full range of emotions that words weren’t enough to quell the sorrow in her chest. Sometimes she just needed a good cry. If Ricky wanted to avoid doing that in front of the stranger driving them, Esther couldn’t blame him.</p>
<p>When they finally arrived at the Chantry, Esther paid and thanked the cabbie before helping Ricky out. Ricky resummoned Ox, who stayed close behind the two. Frank greeted them at the door, but noticed their bedraggled state and decided to make no further comment. Ox gave the couple space and went obediently to his dog bed. Esther led him upstairs to their apartment and squeezed his hand reassuringly.</p>
<p>“How about a hot bath? Ana and Amelia gave me some essential oil bath bomb thing a while back,” she offered, hopeful that could be the time for them to have a heart to heart. “I hear it helps with muscle aches. Maybe some wine? I think I have a bottle somewhere.”</p>
<p>“Sure, Esther,” he mumbled in a monotone. “Sounds good.”</p>
<p>Esther hummed, happy at least that he was letting her take care of him. He had spent many, many months of their early relationship letting her vent and saying he didn’t mind. Though she knew he really didn’t mind and expected no payment in return, it was nice to return the favor anyway. She hated seeing him in so much pain.</p>
<p>To keep him busy, she asked, “Do you think you could fill the bath? I’ll come in with the extras in a second.”</p>
<p>Ricky nodded, limping into the bathroom. Having Ricky out of the room was disconcerting, but she heard the water start to splash against the porcelain tub, and she was put at ease for a while as she searched for wine and wine glasses. Then, casting Mage Hand, she opened one of the drawers in their room and plucked out the lavender bath bomb she knew was there. When she finally entered the bathroom, Ricky was sitting on the floor with the tub full.</p>
<p>“Hey handsome,” she purred sweetly, setting the wine glasses on the counter. “You okay?”</p>
<p>She expected him to nod, even though she could tell he wasn’t. He was staring blankly at the wall ahead of him for god knows how long. He didn’t verbally answer. Instead, he just shook his head. When she leaned closer, she saw the slick sheen of tears on his cheeks.</p>
<p>“Oh Ricky…”</p>
<p>“It’s not fair,” he choked out. “And I’m not asking for things to be fair. I just wish they weren’t so cruel. Did I do something wrong? Is this my punishment?”</p>
<p>She immediately pulled herself into his lap, hushing him and sweeping away the tears with her thumbs. “Oh honey, no. You haven’t done anything wrong, sweetheart. Not a thing. It’s just… On a magical level, I want you to know something fucked up happened. That little bitch, that <em>punk</em>, didn’t earn it the way you did. Do you understand me?”</p>
<p>Ricky sniffled, looking into her eyes. “Don’t blame the kid. He… He didn’t know. Not really.”</p>
<p>“I know, I know,” she whispered. “But it’s okay to resent him. It’s okay to be furious. Fuck’s sake, hun, you are well within your rights. You had the Questing Blade stolen out from under your nose.”</p>
<p>He was quiet for a long while, fiddling with Esther’s curls between his fingers. His face told her she didn’t believe a word of it, but he was still angry. He was mentally beating himself up over feelings he couldn’t control, trying to always play the hero and be the nice guy. She wished Ricky would learn that negative emotions are absolutely normal. Even so, she knew that would take time. That type of attitude wasn’t something they could fix in a night. So, for now, she used Mage Hand to pour the red wine and deliver the glasses to her hands.</p>
<p>“A drink?”</p>
<p>Ricky took it, swirling the liquid in the glass contemplatively. After a moment, he took a sip and shrugged. “Not bad.”</p>
<p>Esther laughed, standing and sipping her own. She carefully dropped the bathbomb in the water, making sure it didn’t splash on either of them. Teasingly, she purred, “I know it’s no protein shake, but…”</p>
<p>The small joke led Ricky to crack an amused smile, and Esther could feel the genuine warmth that radiated off him. Even if it was small, it was at least real and for now, that could be enough. Setting the glass on the edge of the tub, she started removing her clothes, which still smelled of the Hudson River. She wrinkled her nose as the layers peeled off her.</p>
<p>“Laundry day tomorrow,” she mumbled to herself, casting a glance to her boyfriend. He was swirling the wine glass in his hands, averting his gaze respectfully. Esther found it charming how much of a gentleman he was all the time. It wasn’t an act, which took her about a month of knowing Ricky to truly understand. “I imagine it would be uncomfortable to get into the bath with clothes on, sweetie.”</p>
<p>Ricky hummed to himself, as if he hadn’t considered that fact in his wallowing. He stood, set his glass beside Esther’s, and followed suit. He slipped into the tub without prompting and Esther carefully sat in front of him. Pressing her back against Ricky’s toned chest, she could feel his heart thudding rapidly. When she stole a glance at his face, she could see that he was firmly biting his lip to hold back tears.</p>
<p>“Oh, my darling love,” she cooed softly, reaching up to brush her fingertips against his jawline. “Sweetheart, you can cry if you need to. It’s just me here. If anyone knows how much it hurts to hold in emotions, it’s me. I know it hurts, and it’s okay to let it hurt. Feelings are meant to be felt, Ricky.”</p>
<p>He looked as though he was about to argue the point. His mouth opened, and she could practically hear the words on his lips. He would say, <em>I should be happy for him. The Questing Blade made the choice it felt was right. There’s nothing to feel badly about. I don’t regret what I did. It’s what anyone would do.</em></p>
<p>But his lips fell in a grim line, and he didn’t say them. He didn’t sweep his feelings under the rug this time. Instead, Ricky took his girlfriend’s words to heart. The Champion of the Hall of Heroes, the man who put everyone and everything before himself, bowed his head and buried his face in the crook of Esther’s neck. His arms wrapped around her middle, and it wasn’t long before his silent sobs shook the both of them.</p>
<p>Esther didn’t have any words that could help. She couldn’t promise that all of this would inevitably work out because that was what Ricky deserved. The universe didn’t work that way. Bad things happened to good people and, especially in their line of work, nothing was promised. Fairness couldn’t be counted on when the chips were down. </p>
<p>But in that moment, Esther held him tight. She tilted her head to kiss his hair and gently caressed his knuckles with her thumb. She provided silent comforts that Ricky deserved, even if he didn’t think so. They sat there for what felt like hours, with only the sound being the sloshing bath water echoing in the bathroom. They stayed there until the steaming water grew a chill and they were both shivering.</p>
<p>When the tears ceased, Esther could see in Ricky’s red-rimmed eyes that he was exhausted. She ushered him to their bed after wrapping him in his robe. He staggered off into the comfort of their plush mattress while Esther took care of the rest. She cast Mage Hand to send the unfinished wine glasses to the sink and the wine bottle back to the fridge. Satisfied, she pulled on one of Ricky’s old shirts and curled into the bed beside him.</p>
<p>Ricky immediately picked her up, causing a quiet gasp to spill from Esther’s lips. With one fluid motion, he laid her down so they were chest to chest. He looked up at her like she had just hung the moon and stars in the sky just for him. She could see in his eyes that he was still troubled, but now he seemed in control. Sorrow no longer clutched at his heart, desperately trying to make itself home in a usually happy man. He was processing his feelings, and that was a good place to start.</p>
<p>Nothing had been cured. Ricky would still have to watch that smug bastard swing that sword like it was a toy. The issue that was Cody wouldn’t disappear overnight, but at least now Ricky could face it without shaking with rage.</p>
<p>“Esther,” Ricky breathed out, half-lidded eyes trained on Esther’s face. “Thank you.”</p>
<p>“Anything for you,” she purred in return, combing her hand through his hair. “Anything for you, sweetheart.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks so much for reading! As always, kudos, comments, and constructive criticism are always welcome. Also, feel free to check my out on Tumblr <a>here</a>. Have a lovely day!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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